by Robert Giles (Gazette Reporter)

Written by Barry Pullman
Directed by Tim Hunter

Leo and Major Briggs are shackled inside Windom Earle’s cabin. Leo stretchs across the room, reaching for the keys inside a desk. Once he has them, he frees Major Briggs, begging him repeatedly to save Shelley. In his drugged state, Briggs doesn’t seem to understand him and stumbles out of the cabin. Moments later, Windom Earle returns and naturally asks “Why, who in the world let Major Briggs loose, Leo? It couldn’t have been you, could it?” He raises the shocking device, then hesitates, “No, no punishment, Leo. It’s too late for that to do us any harm…but I have a new game for you.” Earle shows Leo a small burlap sack with who knows what inside, displaying an insane pitch black grin offseting his extremely pale face.

At the Double R Diner, Norma has finished 3 pies for the Miss Twin Peaks Gala Buffet. She tells Annie and Shelley that she fully expects one of them in the winner’s circle. She comments that they need someone this year especially who deserves the title because of Laura Palmer, adding it would be a good day for healing. Norma is to be honored on the 20th anniversary of her taking the Miss Twin Peaks crown. Shelley says if Norma entered today she would win to which Norma jokes that the girls are already “working on the judge.”

Audrey sits in front of the fireplace in Ben’s office pining over Jack Wheeler. Ben enters carrying a stack of holy books that “constitute the fundamental framework of humanity’s philosophy of good: and in them he’s certain he will find the answers he seeks. Finally, he recognizes his daughter’s brokenhearted state and tells her caringly that time heals all wounds. He understands what she is going through and assures her if Jack said that he’ll be back then he will be back.

Audrey tells him her real reason for coming to see him was to update Ben on her trip to Seattle. The Packards are using Twin Peaks Savings & Loan to funnel money for the Ghostwoods project. The bank is keeping a low profile on the matter in the hopes of avoiding bad publicity. Ben promises that “bad publicity” is exactly what they’re going to get. He asks Audrey if she has given any more thought to the Miss Twin Peaks contest. Audrey replies, “Daddy, from the bottom of my heart, I don’t want to be the town bathing beauty.” Ben understands Audrey feelings on this but explains to her since the topic of the speechs is how to save the environment they need a person with political sensibilities in that position. Ben sees that it will take more convincing to get Audrey to enter the contest.

Andy is still fixated on the sketch of the cave petroglyph on the conference room’s chalkboard. Harry tells Cooper they still have people combing the woods for Major Briggs. Cooper believes Earle has targeted the Major because of their connection to Project Bluebook.
Cooper: Harry, Windom Earle has been seeking access to the Black Lodge as far back as 1965. This chess game may involve more pieces than we’ve begun to imagine. And then there’s mysterious circumstances around Josie’s death to consider.

Harry: What about them? Consider them how?
Cooper: When she died, I’m sorry I didn’t mention this before, Harry but I had to take into account your mental state.
Harry: What is it?
Cooper: She was trembling with fear. I would go as far as to say quaking like an animal. I might venture a guess to say it was the fear that killed her. At the moment of her death, I saw BOB, as if he has slipped through some crevice in time. Upon reflection, I believe there’s a connection between his appearance and Josie’s fear as if he was attracted to it, feeding off it somehow.
Harry: You see a connection between BOB and the Black Lodge.
Cooper: Harry, I think it’s where he comes from…I think the Black Lodge is what you have referred to in the past as “the evil in these woods” If Windom Earle is seeking access to that it is imperative we find out way in before he does. There is a source of great power there, Harry, far beyond our ability to comprehend.

Windom Earle, who has been listening to Harry and Cooper’s conversation through the bugged bonsai, is elated by the information he just received from Cooper.

Earle: It’s fear. It’s fear, Leo! My favorite emotional state and all this time it’s been staring me right in the kisser…Victory is at hand. We know where the entrance is. We know when the lock appears and now we hold the key in our hands…Forgive my hasty departure, dear one, but the time has come to gather my beloved queen and embark upon our dark honeymoon. I haven’t been this excited since I punctured Caroline’s aorta.

Windom shares a final sentiment with Leo, thanking him for being an obedient sounding board and companion. He is a bit upset still over the release of Major Briggs, but Leo will have plenty of time to contemplate that. Leo is again shackled, but this time gripping a string in his teeth. Tied to the string is a box of poisionous spiders that dangle above him like Damocles’ sword. One false move and it’s lights out for Leo.

Mr. Pinkle, acting as choereographer for the Miss Twin Peaks contest, goes over the opening number with the contestants. Norma, the Mayor and Dick look on and work out what their criteria will be for their scoresheets for the contest. The girls take a break and Lana asks Dick to help him find something in the storage room for her. This is the moment alone she and the Mayor had planned on to soften Dick up so she can win the contest. Dick uses a flashlight to find what Lana is looking for but she keeps turning it out. “Does anything in here look like it?”. Lana again turns out the flashlight and says, “This might be it.” Dick replies surprised, “By George, I think you’ve got it.”

Cooper finishes his second meditation of the day, then dictates to Diane. He tells her about the cave petroglyph and how he knows what Earle is after. God help them if Earle gets to this “unholy place” before they do. Cooper then takes time to tell Diane about Annie. He hasn’t felt this way since Caroline. It has taken meeting Annie for him to realize how cold and solitary his life has been since Caroline’s death. A knock comes at this door and he concludes saying, “Although occassionally there is something to be said for solitude.”
It’s Annie with “almost perfect timing”. She needs help with her speech for Miss Twin Peaks. Once Cooper finds out the topic, “How to save our local forests”, he gives her some helpful ideas. Then they go on with an analogy comparing Annie to a forest; it’s beautiful & peaceful, but damaged. “I’ve tried to replant, but nothing’s taken root. I can see half my life’s history in your face.” she says, “and I’m not sure that I want to.” Cooper kisses her, confessing “I don’t want to talk about trees anymore…All I know is I want to make love with you. Dale leads her to the bed and they collapse in each others arms.

Jacoby is trying group therapy to help rid Nadine of her teenage delusions and help her realize she and Ed are getting divorced. Jacoby relates that he has found “it’s easier to talk about our feelings when we’re around other people.” Nadine begins by explaining “It all started when she noticed Mike’s buns in the hall at school.” She feels guilty now, however, because she’s so happy and that she worries about Ed being sad. Jacoby asks Ed if there is something he would like to say. “Norma and I plan on getting married.” he announces. This shakes Nadine’s foundations, too shocked to reply initially and as she agressively squeezes Mike’s hand she responds that they’re getting married too. Mike has to scream in agony from the pressure applied to his hand from Nadine’s superhuman strength.

Major Briggs is discovered stumbling out of the woods by Hawk and he takes him back to the station. In the conference room, Harry and Cooper try to pump him for information, but discover he’s loaded on haliperidol. Cooper asks if Windom Earle did this to him, Briggs replies, “He was God I suppose.” He was taken to the woods, they were “lovely, but dark.” Cooper knows this will take some time considering Briggs’ state of mind, time that they don’t have. He decides to keep Briggs with them in case “something bubbles up.” Cooper explains to Harry the door to the Lodge probably exists at a point in time and space; therefore, if they’re not there at the correct time they won’t find their way in. Andy, who is still concentrating on the sketch of the petroglyph, asks Harry if the 4-H Club could have anything to do with this. Harry answers that this is doubtful.

Andrew and Pete are attempting to crack open the final box in the set of boxes bequeathed to them by Thomas’ Eckhart. Pete is surprised that “a little crumb like this can stand up to this Cram-Jack All Duty Vice”. Frustrated by another failed attempt, Andrew throws the steel box to the floor. He pulls out his pistol and starts firing at it, startling Catherine and Pete. Andrew managed to blow a hole in the box and pulls out a key. Catherine suggests they put the key in a cake saver on the dining room table in plain sight.

Donna is ready to leave for the Miss Twin Peaks contest. Her parents ask her to read her speech, but Donna says she’d rather talk about the truth. Something is going on between Eileen and Ben Horne and she wants to know what it is. Eileen explains that Donna is young and doesn’t “know all the limitations”. Donna says she knows it’s wrong to be dishonest and that they raised her to tell the truth so she expects the same from them. If they won’t tell her she will asks Ben Horne herself. They remain silent, so Donna says, “This is your choice, not mine” and charges out of the house.

Andy continues his fascination with the petroglyph sketch, trying to discern its meaning. Cooper is looking through the material scattered about the conference room table. He discovers what Andy mistook for the 4-H Club. They are astrological symbols that represent Jupiter and Saturn in conjunction. Harry asks for clarification, so Cooper explains that historically when these two planets are conjunct there are “enormous shifts in power and fortune. This indicates the potential for explosive change, both good and bad.” “When is the next conjunction?”, Harry asks. Cooper consults another book and finds it to be from January to June. That’s when the door to the Lodge is going to be open, Cooper concludes. Major Briggs suddenly bursts out “Protect the Queen” Cooper realizes if the cave painting tells them when, it must also tell them where. Briggs then says, “Fear and love open the doors.” Cooper deduces that fear must open the Black Lodge and love opens the White. Briggs continues to mumble about the queen.

Cooper: Of course, the queen…the chess game’s final piece…Harry, follow my logic. If Windom Earle takes the queen.
Harry: The game’s not over until he takes the king.
Cooper: No that depends, maybe he takes her to the doorway when it opens.
Harry: Which queen are we talking about?
(Andy tries to get Cooper’s attention, having something important to tell him)
Cooper: Just a minute, Andy…The queen?…Andy, please…Harry, Miss Twin Peaks.
Harry: Holy smokes! That’s it.

Andy walks over to them as they prepare to leave and knocks over the bonsai, which falls to the floor, the pot breaking into several pieces. Harry is upset at Andy until he sees that the bonsai had been bugged. Cooper responds that the bonsai is not from Josie, but from Windom Earle. “He’s way ahead of us and we’ve been working for him from the beginning.” They leave immediately for the Roadhouse with Andy following after them intent on telling Cooper’s his vital conclusions about the cave painting.

At the Roadhouse, the contestants are performing the opening musical number with Pinkle watching gleefully. He is overjoyed and is clinging to the Log Lady who is seated at the bar. She is frustrated immensely by this and pushes him away.

Doc Hayward, the MC, comes out after the number is finished and welcomes everyone to the contest. The talent portion begins shortly thereafter with Lucy performng a dance to some big band music. Bobby watches off stage and notices the Log Lady at the bar and makes an off hand remark about small town life. Then he notices the Log Lady standing by a back exit. He goes over to question her about it and finds its Windom Earle in disguise, although he doesn’t know who he is. Windom cracks Bobby on the head with his log and knocks him unconscious.

After Lucy is done, Harry and Cooper arrive. Cooper says its imperative that the winner get twenty four hour protection. Harry says it will happen as soon as she’s announced and he’s called in deputies from surrounding counties to surround the place.

Doc Hayward announces Lana’s “contortionistic jazz exotica” as the next talent piece. Andy comes in, desperately looking for Cooper, but is totally distracted by the dance. He finds Hawk and joins him, who also stares mystified at Lana’s dance. Dick also seems to be enthralled with the dance, moving him closer to picking Lana for Miss Twin Peaks.

Next up is the speeches. Audrey gives her speech then speaks with her dad backstage. Donna waits for Audrey to leave, then approaches him. She tells him she wants to know what’s going on between him and her mother. Ben thinks that they should all get together and talk about it. Donna doesn’t seem to think this is going to happen. She goes on to explain that she’s found old pictures, Horne’s bearer bonds, love letters and a birth certiifcate with no fathers name on it in their attic. Ben wants to tell the truth, wants to do the right thing. Donna asks him what the hell is going on. No one will tell her the truth. Ben tries to tell her about him and her mother, but Donna interrupts with “You’re my father?” and runs off.

Annie’s speech is inspiring to everyone in the audience. Dick is moved to tears and Norma is filled with pride for her sister’s beautiful speech. Cooper looks at her lovingly while Windom Earle lurks on the catwalks above the stage in his Log Lady disguise. After Annie’s speech, Doc announces that the balloting will commence and that they will soon have the winner.

Lucy pulls Dick and Andy aside reminding them that this is the day she announces the father of her child. She says that regardless of which one is biologically responsible that she has decided Andy will be the father of her child. Dick congratulates them both and says he had a vote to cast himself and scurries off to rejoin Norma and the Mayor at the judges table. Andy is honored that she made this decision and promises to be a good father, but he really has to find Agent Cooper.

Doc Hayward announces the winner; it’s Annie. Cooper is extremely disturbed and shocked by the annoucement. Lana is equally bewildered and gives a puzzled look at the Mayor. He explodes saying, “This is an outrage, she’s been living in this town for fifteen minutes.” Dick said he gave her to crown because of her touching speech that everyone should take heed. Doc hands Annie the roses, the crowd is applauding, cheering for Annie. Suddenly the lights go out and smoke begins to fill the stage and random explosions occur. Bright strobe lights start flashing, causing the girls to flee the stage in panic. The crowd also starts to react in this way, rushing for the exits. Harry tries to help get everyone out of the building while Cooper searches for Windom Earle, knowing full well what it up. Doc takes Annie toward the back of the stage. As Nadine flees, she is knocked unconscious by a falling sandbag. Cooper sees Windom and goes after him, but Earle sets off an explosion that disorients Cooper enough for Earle to grab Annie after she is separated from Doc and takes her away. The lights come on and Cooper is trying to regain his senses, calling out for Annie. He tells Harry that Earle got her and Harry rushes outside to organize the search for Annie and Earle. Andy finally gets to Cooper and tells him he’s been looking for him everywhere. Andy tells Cooper he has figured out the cave painting isn’t a puzzle at all, it’s a map.

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