So, there's been a lot of talk about the trend of dumb "comedies" that have been flooding the multiplexes lately (though let's be honest, when has this not been a trend?). Few would disagree that the ____ Movie franchise has worn out its welcome, and that Eddie Murphy is ruining his Oscar chances by donning a rubber latex fat suit again so soon. But there is one element that I don't think anyone has covered yet: the lazy-ass posters! Here, lemme show you...

See what I mean? Apparently red block letters on a white background just screams comedy.

How about some other lazy movie posters? Or just bad posters in general?

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Is Sarah Michelle Gellar trying to intimidate me into buying her awful movie? This doesn't even look like a romantic film, it looks like an intense thriller. Also, including the title "Sean Patrick Flannery" was a bad choice. It's like they're daring you to watch it.

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Lousy Movie Poster Rule #23:

If you have an ensemble cast in your comedy, make sure you cram every single actor into the poster. Bonus points if the poster contains the words "Directed by Kevin Smith" or "and featuring Eugene Levy".

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I hate Hate HATE lazy movie posters.

 IMO the worst offenders are those that don't bother to correspond the stars' names to their pictures... most obviously when the two leads photos are on opposite sides of the banner, they are male and female ane the names are obviously not above the correct heads.

Happens all the time.

 Soooo lazy.

I am likely to miss the main event

If I stop to cry or complain again.

So I'll just keep a deliberate pace,

Let the damn breeze dry my face.

That god damn trailer's more popular than Uncle's Day in a whorehouse!

Not lazy so much, I suspect, as poorly executed.  The agents haggle the billing order with the producers, and the producers generally don't give a shit about the fact that they're making a movie, so nobody bothers to inform the poster designers that there are unchangeable elements that must be adhered to.  The designers work in a vacuum, then at the last minute the legal people say Star A needs to be listed first and B needs to be second and C needs to be third, but they've already shot 100 rolls of B/A/C poses for the poster.

Drives me nuts too. 

From what I hear, that's a pretty accurate representation of the movie as well. Which bugs me a little, 'cause I usually enjoy movies where Jim Carrey is allowed to stretch a little. Um, as an actor, that is. No screenshots of Jim in bright green spandex, please. 

"JOYGASM!"

Anyway, back to the subject at hand... today, Premiere's website has The 25 Best Movie Posters. Besides the obvious choices (Vertigo and Gilda), a lot of them are pretty... underwhelming. Though I've always liked Silence's poster (and can you believe it took me as recently as this year to notice those bodies on the moth?).

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You won't want to watch it. You won't be able to turn away.

Coming soon to a theater near us all.

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So I should just leave the Photoshoppery to you, then.

Yay uneven cropping and inexplicable Drop Shadow! 

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Okay, that's one I've never heard of. I assume it has something to do with geriatrics committing devious and disgusting acts?

(Luckily, I manage to hear about these sites instead of stumbling upon them myself. Thanks, Internet humor sites that reference Internet shock sites!)

Wait, what was my thread about again? 

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I just this moment realized how appropriate my current avatar has become.

"You're the monster! You, you're the freak!"

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