Yes, I'm back you bunch 'o' bitches.....for the time being, at least.

So, where has FoD been and what has he been up to in the almost 3 years since his departure?

Has he been laying in a gutter, drunk and alone for 36 months?

Has he been making several unsuccessful suicide bids?

Has he been learning to play an instrument?

Has he been held captive by Militant Lesbians after innocently walking into the local Lesbian bar and asking, "Hey, any of your fellas fancy a game of pool?"

Has he been happily masturbating with his elbows?

I will tell you all in good time, but in the meantime why don't you post your theories on what I've been up to and where I've been for the last 3 years. I'm sure your ideas will be far more interesting and entertaining than the truth. Let your mind run wild.

*Mwah* to you all my Darlings!

The Gazetter Formally Known As FoD (and informally known as That Annoying Bitch!)

On the third day he took me to the river
He showed me the roses and we kissed
And the last thing I heard was a muttered word
As he stood smiling above me
With a rock in his fist

They call me the wild rose
But my name was Eliza Day
Why they call me it I do not know
For my name was Eliza Day

SI!!!!!

I'm so happy that you are back. I never did delete your username because I knew that you would back with us eventually. PM me what you want to do with that account.

You have made my day, hun!!!

Kelly

How Do You Live Your Dash?

Check out the Kids' blogs:
The CaleBlog and the Zoe Blog

FOD!!!

 Welcome back bud.

I always felt bad that the last time we spoke we were having an argument.... 

No theories yet as to what he's been doing with himself...or more importantly other people...

Hmmm...

 
Right.  You married an ex-con called Oliver who kept you hostage in the boot of his car, whilst forcing you to live on Ryvita and Tizer.  Until that fatal day when he got a flat tyre and you managed to kick him in the face when he opened the boot to grab the spare.  You managed to hitch a ride with a hairy, muscular truck driver called Steve.  He took you to Milton Keynes and showed you his women's lingerie collection, at which point you knocked him out with his biggest Toby jug and took the keys to Matilda (his truck) and drove yourself to Brighton, where you got a job as a bouncer for a snake dancer called Marjorie.  She fell in love with you and asked you to marry her; so you told her what to do with her snake and left to begin a new life in Scotland.

With Billy Connolly.  You trim his beard for him on a regular basis, eat plenty of porridge, and in your spare time take "up-the-kilt" pictures for the local politicians.

I MISSED YOU.  CAN YOU SEE WHAT YOUR ABSENCE DID TO ME?!?!?!? 

My theory by A. Elk, brackets, Miss, brackets. This theory goes as follows and begins now. All brontosauruses are thin at one end, much much thicker in the middle, and then thin again at the far end. That is my theory, it is mine, and it belongs to me, and I own it, and what it is, too.

Ange's Odyssey

Good to see you, Si.

I'm going to assume that you now hold down a job as a parking enforcement officer, and the shame of it all turned you into a hermit.

It's good to read that some attitudes never change (Jlyon)

I have to say that Flange's "theory" is surprisingly close to the truth. Flange, you weren't actually Steve were you?

On the third day he took me to the river
He showed me the roses and we kissed
And the last thing I heard was a muttered word
As he stood smiling above me
With a rock in his fist

They call me the wild rose
But my name was Eliza Day
Why they call me it I do not know
For my name was Eliza Day

Um.  I may or may not have a suspicious lump on the back of my head where I was clocked with a Toby jug.  I couldn't comment...*cough*it was ME!!!*cough* 

My theory by A. Elk, brackets, Miss, brackets. This theory goes as follows and begins now. All brontosauruses are thin at one end, much much thicker in the middle, and then thin again at the far end. That is my theory, it is mine, and it belongs to me, and I own it, and what it is, too.

Ange's Odyssey

 I'm afraid it's much worse than that, Andrew. Having escaped the sex traffiking trade in Siberia (they like tall, cubby blonde 'mos over there apparently. I went down a storm....and then some!), I was forced to take a position as *gets lump in throat and fights back the tears*...as...a Barista for Cafe Nero!

*sobs*

 *finds compsure*

 My days are now filled with the monotony of work, bedsit, work, bedsite. I only speak to customers. Apart from that everyone else believes me to be a mute.

On the third day he took me to the river
He showed me the roses and we kissed
And the last thing I heard was a muttered word
As he stood smiling above me
With a rock in his fist

They call me the wild rose
But my name was Eliza Day
Why they call me it I do not know
For my name was Eliza Day

who was FoD?  I have no idea.

-cg

I heard FoD was the legal representation for David Hicks - the Aussie terrorist who's been caged up in Guantanemo uncharged for the past 5 years.  After all the hoo-har from bleeding hearts, the terrorist walked into court today and pleaded guilty to all charges.  Rumour has it the quick plea was induced by his lawyer FoD who had been missing his mates at TPG.

Am I close?

 Mildy.

Not so much Guantanamo Bay, but moreso Gaytanamo Bay - the new high production values porn movie. Is that an oxymoron, or what!

On the third day he took me to the river
He showed me the roses and we kissed
And the last thing I heard was a muttered word
As he stood smiling above me
With a rock in his fist

They call me the wild rose
But my name was Eliza Day
Why they call me it I do not know
For my name was Eliza Day

I'm guessing you put a lot of effort in mastering the laughter on the Twin Peaks Pilot's most moving scene, didn't you?

A *normal* person isn't capable of laughing there but - training makes master!

But it's good to see it is you cause I was just about to start disliking the user "Woman in Trouble" after that post in the 'funny scenes' thread ;-)

Bobi 1 Kenobi

B. Beware
O. Of
B. BOB 

As one of the first members to welcome me here, it's good to see you're back! You make my recent forced absence (dull technical and work-related problems.... you don't want to know) appear rather pathetic!

You'll always be FoD in my book; don't know if I can get used to calling you WiT.

How about a compromise: F'WiT ????

Maybes not. I'll get my coat.....   Make mine a latte grande to go!

DMG

I hope they cannot see / The limitless potential / Building inside of me / To murder everything / I hope they cannot see / I am the great destroyer

OMG! Are you and Ditte still, you know, "doin' it"? *giggles childishly. 

Run_DMG, didn't you mention earlier that we argued or something, or was that Outlaw4x4? Who can say!?!

On the third day he took me to the river
He showed me the roses and we kissed
And the last thing I heard was a muttered word
As he stood smiling above me
With a rock in his fist

They call me the wild rose
But my name was Eliza Day
Why they call me it I do not know
For my name was Eliza Day

We sure are, Foddie!!! Nice to see you again!!! What made you come back?

Ditte 

I was really bored last weekend.

On the third day he took me to the river
He showed me the roses and we kissed
And the last thing I heard was a muttered word
As he stood smiling above me
With a rock in his fist

They call me the wild rose
But my name was Eliza Day
Why they call me it I do not know
For my name was Eliza Day

On the third day he took me to the river
He showed me the roses and we kissed
And the last thing I heard was a muttered word
As he stood smiling above me
With a rock in his fist

They call me the wild rose
But my name was Eliza Day
Why they call me it I do not know
For my name was Eliza Day

I had said that I wouldn't watch Brokeback mountain, because the area of homosexuality didnt interest me, and therefore would not enjoy the movie. I phrased it rather roughly and we had a wee dispute. Then the site crashed and this is the first Ive heard from you since.

I remember now! LOL. How petty of me.

Have you still not watched it? I've seen it since our arguement. I can 100% declare that the area of homosexuality is not at the forefront of the narrative. It's gratuitously about homosexualist cowboys, but a wry critique of social conformity, expectation, repression and living ones life unfulfilled (both from the point of view of the two male protagonists and the two female ones).

It's a very hearbreaking story and I balled my eyes out like a pissy lil' poof at the end. *sniff* I'm welling up now just thinking about it! *blub*

On the third day he took me to the river
He showed me the roses and we kissed
And the last thing I heard was a muttered word
As he stood smiling above me
With a rock in his fist

They call me the wild rose
But my name was Eliza Day
Why they call me it I do not know
For my name was Eliza Day