Rather than corrupting the horror novel thread with this I thought I'd just start a new one.

Hormor is, of course, humorous horror.  Christopher Moore is the first person who comes to my mind with his Bloodsucking Fiends, Practical Demon Keeping and (I presume) You Suck.  My inspiration for the thread, however, came from Matt Ruffs home page http://home.att.net/~storytellers/ and this blurb contained on the Unpublished works page;

"

Venus Envy (1988-89) — Every Protestant minister’s son has at least one lesbian vampire story in him; this was mine. Intended as a follow-up to Fool on the Hill, it was rejected by Atlantic Monthly Press. I’d like to believe that that was because the story was ahead of its time—in those pre-Ellen, pre-Melissa, pre-Willow-and-Tara days, lesbians just weren’t as cool as they are now—but it’s possible that it wasn’t that good. You can read more about it here.

"

lol    

"Harry, I'm going to let you in on a little secret. Every day, once a day, give yourself a present. Don't plan it, don't wait for it, just let it happen. Could be a new shirt at the men's store, a catnap in your office chair, or two cups of good, hot, black coffee. Like this."  -Dale Cooper

You rang? :D

I'm assuming you mentioned me because of the girly nature of the books in question and not because of the mention of erotica? I figure you probably don't know me as the biggest pile of TMI on the planet yet, so...extrapolation. :D

I accept girly from Twilight because it's YA Fiction. I don't accept girly from adult novels because HELLO ADULTS. However, if a novel has been really well-written...I'm talking great plot, fleshed-out characters, lovely prose...then I'll read it.

I read the most laughable example of horrotica last year during NaNoWriMo. One of the participants had written a horrotica novel the previous year and shared it with everyone. It was just...oh my god. I couldn't stop LAUGHING. It was just silly. And it wasn't written to be humorous! I should see if I can find the link to it still. Y'all would just die.

~ Amanda

"Just fear me, love me, do as I say and I will be your slave..."

lol  

"Harry, I'm going to let you in on a little secret. Every day, once a day, give yourself a present. Don't plan it, don't wait for it, just let it happen. Could be a new shirt at the men's store, a catnap in your office chair, or two cups of good, hot, black coffee. Like this."  -Dale Cooper

~ Amanda

"Just fear me, love me, do as I say and I will be your slave..."

HEY!  I started this thread and I'm manly as all get out!

(Burps, spits, scratches himself.)

Oh, wait, I'm comfortable with my gender identity.

Never mind.

"It's not so bad as long as you can keep the fear from your mind." - D. Cooper

"I must not fear. Fear is the mind killer." - P. Atreides

"Whoever can see through all fear will always be safe" - L. tzu

"Harry, I'm going to let you in on a little secret. Every day, once a day, give yourself a present. Don't plan it, don't wait for it, just let it happen. Could be a new shirt at the men's store, a catnap in your office chair, or two cups of good, hot, black coffee. Like this."  -Dale Cooper

 The Hot Blood series (ed. J. Gelb/ M. Garett)was classic. No other anthologies have come close.

lol   

"Harry, I'm going to let you in on a little secret. Every day, once a day, give yourself a present. Don't plan it, don't wait for it, just let it happen. Could be a new shirt at the men's store, a catnap in your office chair, or two cups of good, hot, black coffee. Like this."  -Dale Cooper

Why of course I will. In fact, I found that horrotica story that that chick wrote...I would LOVE to read the shit out of it for anyone who will listen. I'd post it if I could get away with it, but I don't want to get betchslapped for it by the author (whom I don't know but I love her blog, so). I should just mention some exerpts here. Because I can't be the only human being on this board who had to read the phrase "creamy red substance" that was meant to be sexy and serious but made me choke heartily on my coffee.

~ Amanda

"Just fear me, love me, do as I say and I will be your slave..."

Not sexy when the sheets are freshly washed. Kind of annoying, actually. "Who spilled daiquiri on the bed--? Ewwww."
 

"Harry, I'm going to let you in on a little secret. Every day, once a day, give yourself a present. Don't plan it, don't wait for it, just let it happen. Could be a new shirt at the men's store, a catnap in your office chair, or two cups of good, hot, black coffee. Like this."  -Dale Cooper

I really need to post that exerpt for you guys tonight. I'll try to remind myself. It's foul. Because then there is the eating of the creamy red substance and then someone referring to it as their "seed".

~ Amanda

"Just fear me, love me, do as I say and I will be your slave..."

 Sweet!

Amanda, I'm going to put you on speaker.

"It's not so bad as long as you can keep the fear from your mind." - D. Cooper

"I must not fear. Fear is the mind killer." - P. Atreides

"Whoever can see through all fear will always be safe" - L. tzu

We could do a giant conference call. I'll set up a conference bridge, y'all dial into it, and I'll read everyone a bedtime horrotica novel. Nice.

As promised, here's the exerpt from that story. I've put it in white text because it's a bit vulgar and I want to make sure if people are going to get offended, they're going to have to work for it. :)

It only took a couple of quick thrusts from Shelley's cock to force her off the precipice into another orgasm that shocked her system. She screamed out, clenching onto Dave's cock, which spasmed in her hands and shot a creamy red substance onto his stomach. Shelly drove himself deep inside her, moaning as he came, filling her.

"I've hurt you," she said bewildered to Dave, once she could speak.

"No, you haven't. I should have explained, this is what our seed looks like once we've crossed over," Dave said, he ran his finger through it and held it up to her mouth. She took his finger inside her mouth and shut her eyes sucking on it, running her tongue around it, showing him what a talented mouth she had if put to the right use. He tasted good, woodsy and metallic.

~ Amanda

"Just fear me, love me, do as I say and I will be your slave..."

Hot!

        Sour!

                     Salty!

                               Sweet!

"It's not so bad as long as you can keep the fear from your mind." - D. Cooper

"I must not fear. Fear is the mind killer." - P. Atreides

"Whoever can see through all fear will always be safe" - L. tzu

His gazz was "woodsy?" 

Logic Hat Online- logichat.org

Oh my god. PF, is this what has happened to you after spending all these years in my pocket? :P

Yeah, I love how it tastes woodsy. I mean, wtf? I guess I would probably find myself waiting a little longer to swallow if it tasted woodsy as opposed to how it really tastes, but still. GAH.

YAY! LOOK! The Amanda TMI Moments© are back!

~ Amanda

"Just fear me, love me, do as I say and I will be your slave..."