LOL Oh that's swank. I think I would be pissed off if that were me.

I actually broke a toe during sex once, trying to fold myself into a proper reverse cowboy position in a Camaro. No sir, I didn't like it.

~ Amanda

"Just fear me, love me, do as I say and I will be your slave..."

Also, female-dominant position in those lawn chairs with the metal arms can leave thighs black and blue for weeks.

 Friday the 13th Part 8: Jason Takes MAN-hattan

i forgot the best part of the story, i emailed her a picture of my back with the note along the lines of "what the hell happened?" and she said "i dont know, i felt like i was flying and had to hang on." i almost had that put on a t-shirt

Jabbed in the butt cheek by a sharp stick while doing it in the woods--was rolled onto my back and YOW!

Other than various bumps, bites, bruises, scratches, radiator burns, leg cramps, head bonks, and asthma attacks, it's generally been pretty safe so far.

I had a jalapeno incident like that from chopping them and then later adjusting my nose ring, and that was bad enough -- I can't imagine how much worse MayRay's was...

"Harry, I'm going to let you in on a little secret. Every day, once a day, give yourself a present. Don't plan it, don't wait for it, just let it happen. Could be a new shirt at the men's store, a catnap in your office chair, or two cups of good, hot, black coffee. Like this."  -Dale Cooper

I never have any injuries because I do this

*imagine pic of Van Damme doing the splits*

"Harry, I'm going to let you in on a little secret. Every day, once a day, give yourself a present. Don't plan it, don't wait for it, just let it happen. Could be a new shirt at the men's store, a catnap in your office chair, or two cups of good, hot, black coffee. Like this."  -Dale Cooper

Any sex related injuries ive suffered are the boring kind lol, carpet burns on my arse, and a pulled groin muscle after a very vigorous session about 4 years ago. I also remember crackin my head off an ex'es headboard during sex, it drew blood and hurt like fuck!

That jalapeno one was eyewatering

"Ive got good news....that gum you like is going to come back in style!"

"I'm a WHOLE DAMN TOWN!"

This isn't me I just think it's funny. Was from Yahoo Answers and I get the impression, somehow, that it isn't a joke...

OMG HELP, MASTURBATION ACCIDENT???????

OMG OMG, I was masturbating with a carrot and like i went in really deep in but then like the very tip broke off, so now I have a chunk of carrot in my pussy!!! OMG somebody help!! Please!!!!!!!!! Ive tried to take it out, but I cant reach that far in! Like, its too small to fall out on its own, but large enough to get stuck!!!!! ANY Advice??????? Please help!!!!!!!!!!!

Original

My favorite story is the guy who stuck a daisy down his erection to amuse his lady on Valentine's Day. After about 20 minutes, the fuzzy hairs on the side of the stem had become attached to the inner tissue of his urethra. He couldn't pull it back out, and had to have it surgically removed.

"It's not so bad as long as you can keep the fear from your mind." - D. Cooper

"I must not fear. Fear is the mind killer." - P. Atreides

"Whoever can see through all fear will always be safe" - L. tzu

god yes, before i figured out what i was doing i just about wore a hole in that bit of my tongue, and had severe jaw pain. i bet most guys make that mistake.

"It's not so bad as long as you can keep the fear from your mind." - D. Cooper

"I must not fear. Fear is the mind killer." - P. Atreides

"Whoever can see through all fear will always be safe" - L. tzu

Beauty is momentary in the mind -
The fitful tracing of a portal;
But in the flesh it is immortal.
The body dies; the body's beauty lives.
So evenings die, in their green going,
A wave, interminably flowing.
So gardens die, their meek breath scenting
the cowl of winter, done repenting.
So maidens die, to the auroral
Celebration of a maiden's choral.
Susanna's music touched the bawdy strings
Of those white elders; but, escaping,
Left only Death's ironic scraping.
Now in its immortality, it plays
On the clear viol of her memory,
And makes a constant sacrement of praise.

('Peter Quince at the Clavier' by Wallace Stevens)