Ho the Plumber

Joe is an aging rent boy who has decided to get out of the sex industry by becoming a plumber.  Can he find love and happiness while avoiding his former clients and keeping his crack covered?  Tune in to find out!

"It's not so bad as long as you can keep the fear from your mind." - D. Cooper

"I must not fear. Fear is the mind killer." - P. Atreides

"Whoever can see through all fear will always be safe" - L. tzu

King of Queefs

Poor Fort Pinkerton has just spent a large sum of money on a commercial for his used car business.
Unfortunately the jingle Go See Fort has been misinterpreted as Pussyfart and now he has to blah blah blah blah

To boldly go where no ham has gone before

SHATNER!

I have no idea of what the content of the show would be, possibly music/variety, but firmly believe that he should be guaranteed, by law, a series for the rest of his life.  This would serve the dual purpose of rewarding one of the great actors of our time and insuring that we wouldn't have to worry about seeing him in anything else.

Cheese Factor 8, engage!  (Yes, I know, I'm mixing my captains.)

P.S. About 50/50 at this point Booth.

"It's not so bad as long as you can keep the fear from your mind." - D. Cooper

"I must not fear. Fear is the mind killer." - P. Atreides

"Whoever can see through all fear will always be safe" - L. tzu

90 South

A sit com set at the south pole. Can anyone find love and happiness when it's 50 fucking degrees below zero outside?

"It's not so bad as long as you can keep the fear from your mind." - D. Cooper

"I must not fear. Fear is the mind killer." - P. Atreides

"Whoever can see through all fear will always be safe" - L. tzu

How about a talk show?

Logic Hat Online- logichat.org

"Harry, I'm going to let you in on a little secret. Every day, once a day, give yourself a present. Don't plan it, don't wait for it, just let it happen. Could be a new shirt at the men's store, a catnap in your office chair, or two cups of good, hot, black coffee. Like this."  -Dale Cooper

"Harry, I'm going to let you in on a little secret. Every day, once a day, give yourself a present. Don't plan it, don't wait for it, just let it happen. Could be a new shirt at the men's store, a catnap in your office chair, or two cups of good, hot, black coffee. Like this."  -Dale Cooper

"Harry, I'm going to let you in on a little secret. Every day, once a day, give yourself a present. Don't plan it, don't wait for it, just let it happen. Could be a new shirt at the men's store, a catnap in your office chair, or two cups of good, hot, black coffee. Like this."  -Dale Cooper

"Harry, I'm going to let you in on a little secret. Every day, once a day, give yourself a present. Don't plan it, don't wait for it, just let it happen. Could be a new shirt at the men's store, a catnap in your office chair, or two cups of good, hot, black coffee. Like this."  -Dale Cooper

Richard Simmons - Bounty Hunter

If you need some muscle to track down and get some money owed or if you simply need a target taken out, Richard Simmons is your man.  Intimidation is his game.

"Harry, I'm going to let you in on a little secret. Every day, once a day, give yourself a present. Don't plan it, don't wait for it, just let it happen. Could be a new shirt at the men's store, a catnap in your office chair, or two cups of good, hot, black coffee. Like this."  -Dale Cooper

The Bent Coppers

Two Policemen live together, one's gay and the other is corrupt, and they both suffer from curvature of the spine, and are made of copper. With hilarious consequences.

Roll Reversal

Ian Roll is a driving instructor, Iain Reversal is a baker. They swap jobs for a whole month. With hilarious consequences.

Van Outen's Van Outings

Denise Van Outen goes out in a van and meets other people with "Van" in their name and outs them as homosexual, whether they are or not. With hilarious consequences.

"Harry, I'm going to let you in on a little secret. Every day, once a day, give yourself a present. Don't plan it, don't wait for it, just let it happen. Could be a new shirt at the men's store, a catnap in your office chair, or two cups of good, hot, black coffee. Like this."  -Dale Cooper

 Contestants - What's for breakfast, Peter?

Peter- Cinnamon rolls.

"Harry, I'm going to let you in on a little secret. Every day, once a day, give yourself a present. Don't plan it, don't wait for it, just let it happen. Could be a new shirt at the men's store, a catnap in your office chair, or two cups of good, hot, black coffee. Like this."  -Dale Cooper

You guys may have already seen the pilot and catchy theme song of "Black Doctor"

 well he was riding his bike

when there was a lightning strike

now he reads really fast

he's good at science and math

Black Doctor!

 Where did he get the bike? He stole it!

Drears

A situation tragedy set in Boston where the characters sit around a bar and talk about the generally fucked up state of the world.  Norm and Cliff will be replaced with Noam (Chomsky) and Howard (Zinn.)  Yes, you guessed it, the whole point is so that instead of the call 'NORM!'  it will be 'NOAM!' as in;

(Chomsky enters)

All; 'NOAM!'

Bartender #1 (Clever name to be determined); "Hey Noam, what are the prospects for democracy?"

Noam; "About as good as the prospects of this beer seeing the other side of the next five minutes."

"It's not so bad as long as you can keep the fear from your mind." - D. Cooper

"I must not fear. Fear is the mind killer." - P. Atreides

"Whoever can see through all fear will always be safe" - L. tzu

Sharks of Love

Each week pits a wannabe pseudo celebrity with no talent (read Paris Hilton, VH1 reality show losers, Tila Tequila, New York, Celebrity Rehab "stars", etc.) in an American Gladiator style fight on a plank over a pool of sharks until one gets knocked off and eaten.  The "winner" gets to be chum as well when they step in the winners circle and the floor drops out from under them right into the shark pit.

"Harry, I'm going to let you in on a little secret. Every day, once a day, give yourself a present. Don't plan it, don't wait for it, just let it happen. Could be a new shirt at the men's store, a catnap in your office chair, or two cups of good, hot, black coffee. Like this."  -Dale Cooper

Gummo - The TV Show

Gummo the movie retooled for the television medium.

"Harry, I'm going to let you in on a little secret. Every day, once a day, give yourself a present. Don't plan it, don't wait for it, just let it happen. Could be a new shirt at the men's store, a catnap in your office chair, or two cups of good, hot, black coffee. Like this."  -Dale Cooper