"Harry, I'm going to let you in on a little secret. Every day, once a day, give yourself a present. Don't plan it, don't wait for it, just let it happen. Could be a new shirt at the men's store, a catnap in your office chair, or two cups of good, hot, black coffee. Like this."  -Dale Cooper

Wow. I don't know what kind of women you've all encountered in your lives, but I'm sorry that it had to be that way. None of my female friends are in any way shallow. I know I sure as hell am not shallow. If I were to post photos of everyone I've ever dated or slept with, you'd see what I mean.

Now, I can't speak for most other women, but for me...when it comes to what I look for in a man, I am aiming for respectful, thoughtful, gainfully employed (NOT because I want money...I have my own, thanks; I just don't want to date a freeloader), independent, and relatively secure. Sense of humor is a huge bonus.

I do have one additional requirement that most guys I've dated fail to fill...they have to get along well with my family. We're a package deal, and if he can't jive with them, I can't jive with him. Period.

~ Amanda

"Just fear me, love me, do as I say and I will be your slave..."

lol   

"Harry, I'm going to let you in on a little secret. Every day, once a day, give yourself a present. Don't plan it, don't wait for it, just let it happen. Could be a new shirt at the men's store, a catnap in your office chair, or two cups of good, hot, black coffee. Like this."  -Dale Cooper

I kinda figured you might have been tailoring your convo a bit, Fud. I know you're not that way. :)

j, what makes you think your parents require perfection? I mean, is it just their personalities or actions over the years, or is it things they've actually said to you? I'm fortunate that my parents as well as my extended family are all very open-minded, friendly people who are very accepting of a whole rainbow of character types.

That being said, the only intolerance they have is for people who just suck as human beings. Racists, bigots, physically/mentally abusive types, that sort of thing. But the plus side is that I'm not stupid enough to date shit like that anymore, so it's not a problem. Though since I don't really date because I don't have time for it, I think my entire family thinks I'm a lesbian, because they never see me with guys and I never talk about guys. And I wear comfortable shoes. :P But to be frank, they'd be stoked if I were a lesbian. Our family loves The Gay. :)

~ Amanda

"Just fear me, love me, do as I say and I will be your slave..."

Ben:  "We've laid in a gala reception for your fair-haired boys tonight.  All of Twin Peaks' best and brightest."

Jerry: "We're holding it in a phone booth?"

 well, i am, in the sense that i tend to assume pretty people are batshit crazy (hasn't let me down too often, and when it does it's a GREAT surprise! :) )

j's personality wants a nice, sweet girl. his weewee wants a playboy bunny circa 1957. hopefully his personality will win. as the wise man said, "show me the hottest woman on the planet and i'll show you a guy who's sick of her bullshit"

*noticed only one woman has posted.

Does that mean the women on here are afraid to tell us guys that it's looks and money?

Ben:  "We've laid in a gala reception for your fair-haired boys tonight.  All of Twin Peaks' best and brightest."

Jerry: "We're holding it in a phone booth?"

"What? Did your life pass before your eyes? Cuppa tea, cuppa tea, almost got shagged, cuppa tea..."

Ben:  "We've laid in a gala reception for your fair-haired boys tonight.  All of Twin Peaks' best and brightest."

Jerry: "We're holding it in a phone booth?"

Fo'Shizzle.

"What? Did your life pass before your eyes? Cuppa tea, cuppa tea, almost got shagged, cuppa tea..."

*these double posts can bite me*

"What? Did your life pass before your eyes? Cuppa tea, cuppa tea, almost got shagged, cuppa tea..."

women aren't posting because i'm covering the topic so well there's no need

don't begrudge your trademark, will

lol

Ben:  "We've laid in a gala reception for your fair-haired boys tonight.  All of Twin Peaks' best and brightest."

Jerry: "We're holding it in a phone booth?"

"What? Did your life pass before your eyes? Cuppa tea, cuppa tea, almost got shagged, cuppa tea..."

I won't lie, when it comes to being attracted to another person, physical appearance definitely plays a part. As a coworker once said to me, "Hun, a woman can have the best personality in the world and be an awesome human being, but if my dick says no, then I really can't argue." :)

For me, I don't know that I am all that picky with physical appearance. That's no slight against the guys I've dated or been with. I've found them all physically attractive in one way or another, in addition to those parts of their personalities that drew me in in the first place. But what I consider to be physically attractive and what's considered to be the norm for physical attractiveness are two completely different things entirely.

I think what it boils down to is that there's this basic level of physical attraction there, and when we're drawn to a person's character, it enhances their physical attractiveness. That's why you see these kind of homely people in happy relationships. It's why Mama Cass was such a hot ticket. The woman was the size of a house, but she had a beautiful personality that radiated outward and for some men, it transformed her from homely to lovely.

And I'll be very frank and say that any woman who lists "money" as a quality she looks for in a man is an ugly person inside. That's such a superficial trait to ask for, it amazes me that anyone would be OK with it. No matter how great a woman seems, if she says that she wants a man with money, run as fast as you can in the opposite direction. Her priorities are jacked up.

~ Amanda

"Just fear me, love me, do as I say and I will be your slave..."

As I've always said, if a man can make me laugh then he's halfway to my knicker elastic already.  That, and someone who respects me and doesn't want me to change.  And doesn't treat me like I'm stupid.

Also, I like a man with a bit of meat on his bones.  Woof.

My theory by A. Elk, brackets, Miss, brackets. This theory goes as follows and begins now. All brontosauruses are thin at one end, much much thicker in the middle, and then thin again at the far end. That is my theory, it is mine, and it belongs to me, and I own it, and what it is, too.

Ange's Odyssey

yeah, this is kind of the "trick" if you ask me. it's not about finding someone physically perfect, it's about finding someone who's a good person, a smart person, and is attractive enough to get it up. not necessarily make it on the cover of magazines or anything, just...hot enough to get the job done. :)
 

and let's be 100% honest-- if someone lists "drive" or "ambition," that is an incredibly thinly veiled version of saying "money."

Ha! Amen to that. Shoot, all I want is a guy who's employed and will mow the lawn every now and then. Doesn't require drive or ambition. Just the ability take care of his own shit. (responsibility, yo)

I remember growing up with a couple of super pretty girls who were total gold-diggers. Their goal in life was to marry rich hot guys and live in the lap of luxury. At our 10yr reunion, it was kind of obvious that this had NOT worked out for them. One was already divorced because her hot rich older husband had left her for a hot rich older woman, and the other had gained a ton of weight and drank like a fish. They were both miserable specimens. I did feel a smidge bad for them because it was like "Wow...only ten years and you're this jacked up?" But then again, serves them right for being superficial!
 

~ Amanda

"Just fear me, love me, do as I say and I will be your slave..."

I still gag knowing certain chicks in college that their lone goal being there was to meet a husband.  WTF?  No career goals or lifelong ambitions or is this your lifelong ambition?  Vomits. 

No women are responding to this thread because a) they think posters on thread are losers or b) Nefud and his feminine sensibilities have it all covered or c) all of the above

"Harry, I'm going to let you in on a little secret. Every day, once a day, give yourself a present. Don't plan it, don't wait for it, just let it happen. Could be a new shirt at the men's store, a catnap in your office chair, or two cups of good, hot, black coffee. Like this."  -Dale Cooper

I'm not sure that anyone finds exactly what they want in another person.  I have dated all races and types of people.  I am infinitely curious about the experience of other people.  So one thing I look for in a man is someone who is not at all like me.  I don't want to date myself.  I don't necessarily need common interests with a man.  It provides us both with an opportunity to share new things with one another.  And eventually you find common interests together.

Attractiveness is a broad definition.  One thing I cannot tolerate is fucked up teeth or chewing tobacco.  Bad teeth=bad hygeine at least to me.  I will say that I have found unattractive men to be either jealous nutbags or wet blankets.  I am not interested in dating anyone who fits into either one of those catagories.  I don't really like the sandal and sock thing so that was a good point.  I don't care how a man dresses as long as he doesn't look retarded, like wearing polyester cowboy suits from the seventies.  Take it easy on the cologne and don't wear a bunch of jewelry.

I don't like overly serious people.  I don't like anyone who has wild mood swings.  I won't stand for anyone hating on my family either.  I can't tolerate French accents. 

lol   

"Harry, I'm going to let you in on a little secret. Every day, once a day, give yourself a present. Don't plan it, don't wait for it, just let it happen. Could be a new shirt at the men's store, a catnap in your office chair, or two cups of good, hot, black coffee. Like this."  -Dale Cooper