Ok thanks?

I think that mostly women don't know exactly what they want, they are far more attuned to what they don't want.

I don't want an -ist

racist

sexist

narcissist

pessimist

antagonist

or an artist cuz he's usually a

narcissist

"Harry, I'm going to let you in on a little secret. Every day, once a day, give yourself a present. Don't plan it, don't wait for it, just let it happen. Could be a new shirt at the men's store, a catnap in your office chair, or two cups of good, hot, black coffee. Like this."  -Dale Cooper

"What? Did your life pass before your eyes? Cuppa tea, cuppa tea, almost got shagged, cuppa tea..."

I puke a little in my mouth every time someone says soul mates.

I don't mind a philanthropist or an anarchist I guess.

Being a drunk will probably also cross a man off my list of possibilities.

I agree with many of the other women that a sense of humor is key.

 This is one thing I struggle with daily.

*glances at the ground and pouts with lower lip stuck out*

"Harry, I'm going to let you in on a little secret. Every day, once a day, give yourself a present. Don't plan it, don't wait for it, just let it happen. Could be a new shirt at the men's store, a catnap in your office chair, or two cups of good, hot, black coffee. Like this."  -Dale Cooper

1. Figure out who her father is and what their relationship was like and imitate it.

Daddy distant: periodically withold affection.

Daddy domineering: take control and make her believe she needs it.

Daddy's girl: forget it. all men are inferior to him.

If she has an independent, yet healthy/amicable relationship with her dad, she'll still unconsciously look for men who have the qualities in her dad that she respects.

2. Figure our her values and aspirations.

Women look for what's lacking in them, and project it on you. The more they feel is missing or imperfect in themselves, the easier she is to "complete."

The degree of importance that looks, money, social-climbing, and gender roles play in how she defines herself will come out in who she's interested in.

3. Figure out her father's values, and compare. Either be daddy, or be a combination of the best things in daddy. Whatever she wants to be, be the mirror that reflects it. And voila. Prince Charming.

The reverse seems to be true for men and their mothers, too.

Let's not forgot she sucked it like she was starving and there was cream filling inside! In all seriousness, I know many people who say the homely are more generous lovers.

 if i could boil my theories down to one idea, it's that the more attactive someone is, the less they have to try in life and therefore it determines the amount of effort they put into anything, love included.

so i really agree with this, angel. again we're all talking in generalities but out of the few women i've slept with i can say that the "hottest to least hot" chart is the exact inverse of the "best to worst sex" chart without exception

As a buddy of mine put it, 'They're grateful. And you enjoy it more because you're not self-conscious about your looks. You feel like a stud.'

It's unfortunate that there are warm, charming folks who get sidelined in love by people they have chemistry with because their looks don't live up to their friends standards of beauty.

God love chemistry. Now that's what women look for. You can't lie when it's not there, even if the guy is otherwise ideal.

edit this post. u r right fud, shouldn't be bitching on the internet.  reading it today, it felt pretty lame.

 i give a shit but only in that tangential way where you're a fellow human being sorry

in all seriousness though, there's got to be one out there for you that wont make you resort to bitching on the internet

seriously, there's just no controlling that and IMO a person's time is best spent improving themself until that happens
 

A girl spends puberty onward working on herself and deciding what she does and doesn't want from trial and error. So guys give up and go for 20-year-olds who just want someone to show them what the world is like.

 but the women were absolutely sociopathic at college age. is there just a brief 8-year period when one can find a decent woman in your opinion?

i'm just disagreeing because i have zero experience with the 30s, i'm just curious

Confidence

Ambition

Money

Looks

Someone who can kick ass, but has a sensitive side

Faithful

Protective

Sense of humor

Mature

...is actually very very excellent!  Speaking for myself, I probably agree with all of them except for MONEY though there is a wide range between penniless (unappealing for the long term) and billionaire.

Confidence for me as always been high on the list AFTER the initial physical attraction. This is a tough one to play act if it's not the genuine article too.

Now we're going back a few years but as for that variable 'hotness factor' personally I never liked dating someone prettier than I was.  Attractive?  For sure.  But I could isolate a few really good physical traits -- good hair, eyes, a nice smile, good thighs, etc. -- but overall the model type male never appealed to me.  When it comes to looks alone, even with actors, I would be more likely attracted to the young Oliver Reed, for example,  than a Brad Pitt. 

Final appealing characteristic - masculinity, a fading quotient in these dark days of the battle of the sexes.  Him what has it, has a great advantage. 

Susan

     
“Half a truth is often a great lie.”

Ben Franklin

nuart speaks the truth!

I can appreciate the appeal of femme boys in rock drag, but even the best ones are still tall and strong with good jawlines, broad shoulders. And don't cry and throw tantrums more than I do, can protect me but encourages me to protect myself. The way some women henpeck and force their men to watch chick flicks, I think they just want a girlfriend with a penis.

You found one, silly! I wasn't trying to throw the baby out with the bathwater. Maybe the decade thing was too vague. There are plenty of high-maintenance 20somethings and naive 30somethings.

I stand by if you try to become what your ideal partner would want (don't fake it, really cultivate yourself) she will find you.

well i know *I* did, i thought we were trying to help j here. 
 

i'd go a step further, and say just develop yourself into what you want to be, and if you can't find someone that appreciates it, fuck'em. (or rather, dont)

You're right. I just outed myself as a Stepford, haha!

For some reason, all my exes come to me for advice about this very subject. This man (boy) I briefly dated is really attached to his neuroses. He doesn't see his clinginess and willingness to be a doormat as a bad thing, even when it keeps driving women away. He sees it as devotion and understanding. Another one feels like no matter how conciliatory or willing to change he is, it's not good enough for his wife. I told them both that women want you to have a backbone and be yourself. If you become her project, neither of you will be happy.

Dating an ass-ist right now.  Not digging on it.

"What? Did your life pass before your eyes? Cuppa tea, cuppa tea, almost got shagged, cuppa tea..."