If so, why?

Did you stay married?

If not, would you try it again?

If never married, why not? 

If not, do you plan to do so eventually?

What's the long term benefit of staying single a lifetime?

Worthwhile for a society's well being or pretty much meaningless?

What are your thoughts on the subject?

Susan

     
“Half a truth is often a great lie.”

Ben Franklin

I have never been married.  I use to want to and I was very romantic.  I think I didn't marry because I was shy and I have only been on a few dates.  I could not afford it, because the jobs I have had has been low paying jobs or I was doing ministry work which didn't pay anything other than $10 here and there, food and a place to stay.  And now I don't really care.  I don't mean that in a bad way I just mean I am not looking but if it happened fine.  But I am not one to fall head over heels in love.  I mean I have seen people who were being married and I was like how can they not notice those huge red flags that it isn't going to work and 3 to  5 years down the road they would split up.  So, maybe I have not met the right girl, but of course I need to be looking to find one.  I am thinking that if some of my goals go right that I may be ready to look for a marriage partner in 3 or more years.  That is something else I have not understood.  Why do people meet someone that  they know deep down is not right for them, but feel like they need to marry them or hold on to them.

To me it seems healther to date a lot of people when you are looking that way you get a better view.  I am not talking about sleeping with a lot of people but dating a lot of people.  It seems like you could then notice the red flags and have a better knowing of what you like and dislike. Just some thoughts.    

TEARSTAINS?! Oh my God, live your own life, woman!

I wouldn't write off the possibility, but it's not an aspiration.

Marriage is a scary thought!! i used to be against the idea for many reasons....never did i think i'd want to get married...but now i'm with "the one" who i love very much i'd definatly consider it. infact i would without a doubt. i'd do it all properly aswell. altho i wouldn't care if it was just me n him an no-one else.

I'm like 12rainbow...it's not off the table for me, but it's not a goal either. Long long time ago, when I was young and fanciful, I had notions of being married by 21 and having a full brood and a house and a husband who was good at fixing things and could open pickle jars for me. And then...dunno, something happened. I just became less enamored with the concept and let 21 slip right by me without caring much. And then I let 30 slip by me and there I was still unmarried but not even concerned. In fact, it's rare that I think about it until someone puts the question to me of why I'm still not married. I think I have so many other things I want to do that marriage just doesn't fit into the equation at this time.

I'm not saying anyone who is married made a mistake, nor am I saying they have no goals and are forever wasting their time. I'm stoked for anyone who is happily married; two of my cousins are happily married and I love it. About a third of my friends are married, and it's great. My parents have been married for 38 years and it makes me proud. I figure I'll get there when and even if I get there. If it never happens, I'm fine with that. I figure that without the marriage, house, and children, I will probably have an easier time doing the things I'd like to accomplish in my life. It's a trade-off.

Besides, I pity the fool who attempts to tame me.

~ Amanda

"Just fear me, love me, do as I say and I will be your slave..."

Amanda, I have my very own 'special tool' for opening pickle jars!  But a man still comes in handy when there's a big spider in the tub.

Susan

     
“Half a truth is often a great lie.”

Ben Franklin

"Harry, I'm going to let you in on a little secret. Every day, once a day, give yourself a present. Don't plan it, don't wait for it, just let it happen. Could be a new shirt at the men's store, a catnap in your office chair, or two cups of good, hot, black coffee. Like this."  -Dale Cooper

I have been married but I was quite young and didn't get to know the man well enough before I decided to link my life to his.  I don't find myself overly concerned with repeating the process.  I do like the idea of someone to share my life with, which I have and I'm not that compelled to change the situation.  I get weary of my mom nagging me about getting married though and having kids.  Whenever I'm around my family, talk often turns to "Oh did you hear that Shelly had her baby?  And Anne's new son is 7lbs. 5 oz."  I wish they'd get over it.  Marriage and kids are not the end all be all. 

My parents divorced each other and then remarried a few years later.  Some people are just meant to be together.  I guess I might be flattered if I was proposed to, but I also might be inclined to turn the person down.  It's just way too expensive to break up when you're married.

"Harry, I'm going to let you in on a little secret. Every day, once a day, give yourself a present. Don't plan it, don't wait for it, just let it happen. Could be a new shirt at the men's store, a catnap in your office chair, or two cups of good, hot, black coffee. Like this."  -Dale Cooper

"Harry, I'm going to let you in on a little secret. Every day, once a day, give yourself a present. Don't plan it, don't wait for it, just let it happen. Could be a new shirt at the men's store, a catnap in your office chair, or two cups of good, hot, black coffee. Like this."  -Dale Cooper

Never, the reasons are complex and not entirely clear to me.

 I asked one woman to marry me about ten years ago but only because I was 99% sure she would say no, which she did.  She was nice enough to say 'but ask again in a few years.'  I figured the offer was off the table when she married someone else.

"It's not so bad as long as you can keep the fear from your mind." - D. Cooper

"I must not fear. Fear is the mind killer." - P. Atreides

"Whoever can see through all fear will always be safe" - L. tzu

"Harry, I'm going to let you in on a little secret. Every day, once a day, give yourself a present. Don't plan it, don't wait for it, just let it happen. Could be a new shirt at the men's store, a catnap in your office chair, or two cups of good, hot, black coffee. Like this."  -Dale Cooper

I've been married twice, the first time when I was 19 and the second when I was 30.  Both times I got married with the intention that it would be forever.  First time lasted just over two years, and the second time about 6 weeks.  Irony of that is, I'd been with the first husband 6 weeks before we got married...(the second time, I'd been with him about 6 years.)

I won't bore you with the gory details, but suffice to say it's not put me off and I would get married again if I thought it was the right man.  It may not seem like it, but I do take the idea of marriage seriously and it's not something I would do on a whim...

...as for kids, I would have loved to have children but Mother Nature is conspiring against me.  Getting to the age now where I wouldn't care whether I was married to my partner or not if we had kids, as long as we were in a stable and loving relationship.

My theory by A. Elk, brackets, Miss, brackets. This theory goes as follows and begins now. All brontosauruses are thin at one end, much much thicker in the middle, and then thin again at the far end. That is my theory, it is mine, and it belongs to me, and I own it, and what it is, too.

Ange's Odyssey

I've always been a romantic.  For years, i wanted the whole married with 2 kids, and live happily everafter.  Since my success in relationships hasen't been what I wanted or expected, it doesn't look like it's gonna happen for me.  I've come to terms with this over the past few years.  I would like to have some hope for this, but if it doesn't pan-out, oh well!  To get married, just to be married is not good enough for me. 

I was engaged once, and truly believed I was going to spend the rest of my life with this girl.  Then about 2 months into our engagement, she left me and married another guy.  So, I guess it ain't in the cards, but maybe someday I'll meet "THE ONE".  I'm not looking for it, I just want to find someone who loves me as much as I love them.  That will be good enough for me!

Ben:  "We've laid in a gala reception for your fair-haired boys tonight.  All of Twin Peaks' best and brightest."

Jerry: "We're holding it in a phone booth?"

"Harry, I'm going to let you in on a little secret. Every day, once a day, give yourself a present. Don't plan it, don't wait for it, just let it happen. Could be a new shirt at the men's store, a catnap in your office chair, or two cups of good, hot, black coffee. Like this."  -Dale Cooper

Ben:  "We've laid in a gala reception for your fair-haired boys tonight.  All of Twin Peaks' best and brightest."

Jerry: "We're holding it in a phone booth?"

Jordan .

No messy, costly divorce. no pushy in-laws nagging you to breed. That right there is enough reason to stay single a lifetime.

As far as society? It's worthwhile for a welfare state's well-being.

I'm still muscling through Erotism by Georges Batailles, and he holds that all the rules of a society are created to say NO to nature; that is, to deny and try to stave off the violence of sex and death (which both culminate in explosions of life. Life, therefore, equals violence.) Thus, terrified humans make rules. Like marriage, which reigns in the violent sexual instinct and gives a purpose to the act that benefits society.

I think society's well being is the last thing on people's minds when they get married. for the late 20th century, marriage is a cultural imperative, spawned from DeBeers product placement in movies and Walt Disney. Which is why the argument against gay marriage seems so obsolete now, and divorce rates are so insane.

Marriage ain't no picnic in the park, like Fud suggested. Which is why opting for singlehood can be a viable move.