I think it would be good for some people to date many people.  I don't think sex should be involved if you are doing that, because it would complicate things.  But I do think that may be good for some people, to kind of find out what they like.  Date all types of people.  Old, young, fat, skinny, rich, poor, people who are like you and people who are not at all like you.  I think it could be a difficult, but positive thing.  I think people would find that maybe what they thought was important isn't and maybe they like things that they didn't think they would like.  The people you date should know that you are dating many people though.

The reason why I say this, is because I have seen this with people.  They think they have found Mr. Right or Miss.  Right and devote their life to this person, only to find 6 months to 3 years later that they didn't even like this person.  They were just kind of putting up with them until something better came along.  I do feel that the people who are friends first, seem to have more sucess in dating and marriage.  But what do I know?  I have not been on many dates and the few I have been on, I thought was boring.  

I don't really know why I am not that interested.   But I have never been that interested in the dating thing.  Maybe if it just comes natural.  Maybe that is what I like.  Like there has been times when I have been with women and we were just kind of hanging out and having fun.  It wasn't really a date.  Someone just said let's go to a coffee house or one of those nights with friends, that ended up meeting people etc...   I liked that, but dating always seemed fake and tense to me. 

Dating is always awkward. My cousins keep offering to set me up on dates with friends of their husbands but I'm so not interested, since I don't think they really have an idea of who I'd mesh well with, and that would just make for awkward dinner conversation. And there's so much stress involved in dating. Too many signals to interpret and trying to figure out if the other person likes you or not. I prefer that if I'm going to get together with someone, it be a person I've been friends with first. I'm not saying that those are the only people I'll date, but I've found more success with friendships that turn into relationships than I have with dates that turned into whatever you would call them (somehow "relationship" doesn't quite describe those events...ugh).

There's one guy I dated about six years ago that I'd known since junior high. I think that was the most comfortable relationship I'd ever been in because there wasn't that initial clinginess (I hate clinginess...) that new relationships often have...we were already comfortable enough with each other to allow for space and not have to constantly be together doing stuff. We also knew a lot about each other already, so we didn't have to constantly worry whether or not anything was wrong or anyone was unhappy. We knew uor similarities and differences, and it was groovy. Unfortunately that one crashed and burned because a piece of his past came back to haunt him and he felt that he needed to just be single and deal with his own issues instead of possibly allowing our relationship to fail as a result of the issues. (he had a child from a previous relationship, the woman didn't like him being together with someone other than her, so she basically kept hounding him with legal stuff even though he was handling his end of the deal to begin with; he was afraid of losing his son altogether, so...) It sucked but I have to say, it worked out great because we're still fantastic friends and he was able to sort things out and get his life together better. Perhaps one day we might end up together again, but it's nothing I'm pining over. Above all else, we were able to keep our friendship intact and that is what mattered most to us throughout all of it.

~ Amanda

"Just fear me, love me, do as I say and I will be your slave..."